MILO FOR THE SOUL

“We are destined to go as far in life as the will in our hearts and the strength of our spirits can take us.”

I don’t know who wrote this.  It is the inscription on a fridge magnet I bought recently and it pictures a herd of horses against a lovely blue mountain in the background.  What I do know is that the words are so very true and every time I read it, it resounds in my heart, filling me with the wonderful potential it holds and promises.  We are our own worst enemies when it comes to realising our dreams.  Why?  Is it that we’re so scared of failing we give up before we’ve even tried?  I guess that could be the answer to one of life’s taunting questions.  Can’t we see the sun because we’re looking at our own shadows?  I think so.  Actually I believe it.  If we can overcome ourselves and our fears, we can accomplish anything we set for ourselves as a goal.

I need to take stock today of the past five years, since I bought my first Friesian foal, the beautiful Ceaser, who died so tragically.  It has been a rough and tough couple of years.  Johan and I were on a see-saw of emotions, problems, battling his cancer, trying to survive the emotional devastation visited upon us by that harrowing disease and its treatment.  We had to sell our farm because he just couldn’t keep up, so broken was he in body and spirit.  He survived the cancer but nearly lost the battle against the emotional fallout from the treatment.  Now, almost exactly five years later, he is so full of life and happiness and fire for the future… What a miracle!!

Through the times of pain, illness, sadness, despair and devastation run a few golden threads.  All of them come together in one place – the stables.  Through everything my horses brought me comfort and friends.  And my horses were given to me by my great and merciful God.  He planted the first seeds in my heart when I was a toddler of just over two years old and sat for the first time on a horse.  He ignited the passion in my heart that became Faeriewood Friesians and He gave me my horses, one by one.  A couple He needed to take back, for whatever reason.  It is enough to know that He had a reason for it.  My Lord will not send me pain and sadness without also offering the means to make it better for me and all around me.

I have been blessed with friends in all shapes and guises.  On Facebook I “met” some of the most amazing people ever.  There’s my soul sister, Dinki, and her two daughters, who love and support me and keep me going with messages every morning.  My instructor and friend, Marie, who helped me to regain my confidence after a very bad fall off a horse.  My young friends, Sheree and Stella, who surround me with life and love and happiness.  When I think of them I see sunlight.  Sheree is my tinkling faerie light.  Stella is my bouncing ball of light.  Between them they keep me on a road of love and happiness.  There’s Dirk.  My pillar of strength and the one who keeps me calm and understand, sometimes more than words can say.  He sat with me at the hospital last year when the devastating diagnosis of cancer again came our way.  He held me when I cried for Johan, feeling so lost and lonely that I didn’t know if I had the strength to continue.  He knows himself what it feels like to be reviled and misunderstood.  He knows the pain of fighting against people who has nothing on their minds and in their hearts but to cause intense pain and unhappiness.  I can’t skip mentioning Katriena, Elias, Grace, David and Samuel, our farm workers.  Between them they take care of the horses, the house, the dogs, parrots, cats and us.  God handpicked them for their love and generosity of spirit.  I salute them each and all today – my friends and companions.  Then there’s Johan.  My beloved.  Who fights with me, praises me, loves me, cares for me, encourages me, bullies me, and who works tirelessly to help me realise my dreams.  How do you thank someone who gives so much?  How do you explain to anyone how precious someone is to you?  I can’t.  I can only, humbly, say thank you my love.  I salute your courage and will to carry on.  May God shower blessings upon you.

So, you may ask, what has all of this to do with horses?  What is this then?  Well, you see, without all these people my dream of a Friesian stud would have been nothing but a puff of smoke in the wind.  Each one of these people, by believing in me and carrying me in their hearts, contribute on a daily basis to my dreams.  They’re the golden threads who meet at the stables and become the wonderful shining light that my horses are in my life.

I started with two seven-month-old colts – Ceaser and Achilles.  Second came one-year-old Timo Vee and seven-month-old Valerie.  Timo captured my heart immediately like no other horse had ever done.  And to this day there’s a special bond between us.

And so, little by little, sometimes half a step forward and three steps back, I started living my dream.  I knew less than nothing and had to ask, read, learn, make mistakes, struggle against despair.  But today I have a Friesian stud.  When I look through the window I see black horses.  Mares swelling with foals, two gorgeous stallions… Oh dear God, I’m so blessed!!

This morning I put my hands on Madonna’s belly and I could feel the gentle movements of her foal.  She and I have a special bond, like Timo and I.  From September I’ll be on “foal watch”.  I can’t wait.  I can’t wait to go to shows again.  I wanted to start with Bloemfontein show this year, but it did not work out.  But I’m not giving up.  I’ll keep on pushing, dreaming, planning.  I have a destiny, a dream and I’ll keep on dreaming, living to fulfil my destiny.  God gave me passion and love and an ability.  In humble gratitude I have to live it.

Thank You, God.  Thank You.  I will not let my self-invented limitations stand in the way of my destiny.

I want to invite you, who are reading this, to reach out and embrace your dreams.  And please, once again, share with me the beauty of my horses.